Many people are even more anxious than I am and despite me saying this several times, I still receive urges from others to plan for a kid soon, especially when young (biological clock ticking) and have more energy to handle kids…
Even though I am not obligated to explain myself but let me save the trouble by jotting down whatever considerable factors which play a part in putting family planning aside,
so that I can just directly slapped the URL link of this blog post to the person , just so you know.
1. Attempting to ‘enjoy’ the married life first
Frankly speaking, even though we have been together for 8 years , somehow somewhat the married life seems different. We still discover new stuffs and learn more about each other, every other day.
See previous post on married life.
2. My dog Jingles
As much as I hate to receive comments that my dog shouldn’t be the reason that I am not planning for a kid, I guess it also plays a considerable factor.
And I don’t blame my dog of course.
Previously, I seldom post nor speak about my dog but that doesn’t mean I love her any less, so I guess it is no wonder people mistaken that I got a new dog.
Nope, I got her when she was just 2 months’ old and this coming Sept, she’s turning 13! Having a pet requires 100% commitment and responsibility and for me to get her to move in with us will NEVER EVER be a regret.
She’s more of a family member than pet, than just a mere dog.
But having her over with us does mean having to spend more time and effort on her as she’s blind, old and not toilet trained.
Of course I wouldn’t say that I’ll only plan for a kid after jingles has crossed the rainbow bridge because that would seem to be selfish since it isn’t fair to wait to start creating a new life while waiting for another to end.
It’s just not right.
She is not a precursor and shouldn’t be one.
That being said, of course if I were to find out I’m preggers or when we feel it’s about high time to start a family, even with jingles being around, we would still go ahead and have the kid without a doubt. We are not estopped by her presence and it would even be great if she would still be around when we have kids 😉
Don’t label me as a coward but tell me who’s not gonna be afraid of all the heavy responsibilities and huge commitments towards a life? :O
Once you have a kid, your responsibilities and obligations, worries and concerns will never ever stop – from birth till the end of your time (hopefully the parents would leave the world before their kids and it’s any parents’ wish for that).
What about finances? Pretty sure everyone is certain of how much financial resources are required to bring a kid into this world – starting for birth – medical bills, confinement nanny, education, needs and wants etc
And well of course, as with most women’s fear – the fear of labour pain and well, breastfeeding issues (which many have commented that it is 10x worse than labour pain during engorgement and all). I shudder at the thought of giving birth (hopefully via natural birth) or undergoing an caesarian operation. My threshold of pain is quite high but labour pain? No thanks. Just not yet.
4. Bucket list
Both the hubs and I have several things to do on our bucket list – as a couple and individuals.
Climb that corporate ladder, earn that X amount of $, travel to ABCDE countries….
It wouldn’t be morally right for me to say that having a kid would hinder our goals and dreams but definitely difficult for us to achieve all of that while we still can.
5. NOT MENTALLY PREPARED
Saving the best for last, this is by far the MOST important reason on why I am not planning for a kid yet.
‘Nuff with the bullcrap telling me that age is catching up and if we drag too long, we may not have the energy to care for our kids.
I have always been of the opinion that metal strength goes a much longer way and more important than mere physical strength.
Just think of running a marathon. It is actually not a mere test on your physicality, and anything further than what your usual record is, depends on your mental strength. Are you up for the challenge to push yourself further or are you just going to give up at your usual mark?
Comparing physical endurance, to me, mental endurance always prevail.
I won’t deny that thoughts of becoming a mother haven’t crossed my mind. In fact, even more so now that I am married and seeing friends pregnant and having kids, it is not surprise that I don’t introspect.
But at this juncture, I shudder at the thoughts and reading the ‘horror’ of having kids and that is when I try to distant myself away from thinking of motherhood. =/
Don’t give me the bull crap about how you will never be prepared having a kid (especially for your first born), in fact, never fully prepared for anything at all (shoo, cynics). But if I were given the chance to properly plan one right now (accidents aside of course), I would definitely take the plunge when I am mentally ready.
Just not now.