Because I guess it’s kind of the norm to ask newlyweds the usual question of ‘How is married life like’ , I thought I’m just gonna put forth my opinions here.
MARRIED LIFE IS TOUGH.
There, I have said it.
It is tough not because the relationship itself has problems per se but it is tough because two individuals are coming together as one, and living under one roof.
So I’d always thought to myself that people are actually asking “How is living together like as a married couple now?”
That should be the correct question.
Because being married can be, sad to say, a mere change of your marital status, a mere change of your surname, how people address you, how your beneficiaries of your insurance plans are changed to include your spouse, how you suddenly have to pool into another bank account with your spouse jointly and so forth.
In short, these are just formalities.
But haven’t you guys lived together before marriage?
Yes, we had (during weekends) but then I have come to realise that living together, daily, permanently makes things different.
When I stayed over at the hubs’ (then bf) place during the weekends, we did not have to wash our own clothes then (I shuffled my clothes here and there, bringing to and fro both his and my house), we did not have to do housework, did not have to cook etc.
Then came we live together, for real. This time round. As a legally married couple.
It wasn’t about lifting of the toilet seat nor about who does the dishes, but our different living habits.
The husband has some kind of OCD towards cleanliness and whereas for me, because I am so used to having someone cleaning after me…I have become laxed in this area. Even my work desk is in a mess, just ask my colleagues. I have been mocked at countless of times for my messiness, which I have a perfect
excuse reason for – ever heard of an ‘organised mess’? I will leave that for some other time.
You guys have been dating for 8 years, surely you would have already known his habits and preferences?
Yes, and no.
Yes because I knew how he likes being neat and organised.
No, because I did not know to what extent. Until we lived together permanently.
His cleanliness and organisation expectations for our house are high and that is only because he cares for our house. He loves our house 🙂
He loves us and wants us to live comfortably in a clean, organised house.
Initially, I got quite fed up with his anal behaviour and thought, why couldn’t he just cut me some slack? And then, bickering was common due to our different living habits.
But now I am slowly getting it. In fact, I think it is eating into my mentality and living habit, and I find myself a much neater and cleaner person (not that I’m dirty in the past). HAHAHA!
This is good, because his good living habits influences me positively.
And then another thing which I had learnt is that, being married does not always mean a 50-50 equilibrium. It is not being calculative about who has to take the trash out this time round or who is on the duty to wash the dishes.
It’s about give and take.
It’s about compromisation.
And it takes two hands to clap, i.e. taking the initiative to help out with the household chores.
I am very appreciative when the hubs helps out with my dog Jingles too. He takes the initiative to clean up after her while I bring her down to relieve herself, or vice versa.
Working as a team is a MUST and definitely beneficial to your relationship.
As the saying goes…